And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
