I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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