And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
