we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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