actually, I'm a sock model
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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