I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
