I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
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I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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