It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
