Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
