we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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