he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
