...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
