so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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