wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
