TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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