dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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