my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
