Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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