I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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