just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
