i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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