She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
