Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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