BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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