i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
