you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
