Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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