Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
