who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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