Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
