Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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