The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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