i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
did i just pee glitter
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
