the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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