Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
