I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am naked and annoyed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
