shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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