i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize