Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
