Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
