I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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