Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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