U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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