4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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