Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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