Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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