So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
