Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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