wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
