I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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