come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
