this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
