A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
