what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
