Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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