Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
