The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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