accomplished twins. life is a go
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
