theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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