I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
