so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I understand Curling. That high.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
