It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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