Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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