I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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