Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
