sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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